Valentine's day
by gisella89
Summary: Happy Valentines! This is the story of the day Bruce tried to kill himself, and the time he tells Tony first about Betty. It's maybe the saddest thing I've ever written. It's T for sucidal thoughts (obviously), lots of pain, just a few 'emotionally mature' things. It's pretty short. But before you read go into a dark room away form lot's of noise. So, as much as you can, enjoy.


**Happy valentines day!**

**This isn't exactly science bros but please search up 'Mark Ruffalo Reacts to 'Science Bros,' the Tony Stark–Bruce Banner Romance Meme' on vulture. com afterwars to cheer you up.**

**Just search it up and do yourself a favour. He loves sciencebros. But do it after. To get the effect of this one shot go in a dark room and play sad music, or go silent, whatever you want. Just don't be distracted by anything else.**

**I hardly ever write angst so this is just a little thing to get me out of my comfort zone. I was really crying as I wrote it though. I decided it wasn't enough so that's why I added the part about trying to kill himself.**

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"Happy Valentines, Brucey!" Tony said running down into the office where Bruce had his face on the desk. There were papers sprawled around the doctor, and he was half asleep, unshaven.

"Tony… not now," Bruce said.

_He sat down in the chilling dark room._

"Why? Bro, it's valentines day! Lets go out to a club! Maybe get some girls?" Tony put his hand down on the desk and leaned back where Bruce had been working.

"What's up?"

Bruce sat up, his glasses askew. He straightened them with a finger and gave an annoyed sleepy look to his friend.

"Please Tony, leave me be."

_He wouldn't do this. Betty deserved better then a suicidal man. Even if he was away from her, he would keep his mind. And even though every single night he told himself he would end his misery, Splatter his blood against the walls, he always refrained, avoiding the gun. No, he wouldn't kill himself, he set the gun down on the table in the little shack._

"But Pepper has a meeting down in Philadelphia, we're free to go pick up gi-"

"No."

"C'mon, it'll be fun. Just for a day. The big guy could come out on a date but I'll keep you under control. So lighten up! What, do you not like valentines day?"

Banner turned to Tony sleepily. "No, I don't, Tony." "What!? Why not?" Tony asked surprisedly.

_It was the worst valentines day he had ever had. Worse then that night when he tried to tell that girl he liked in fourth grade he had a crush on her. Bruce inwardly laughed, but there was a hollow sound in his voice. Like and empty shell. The hand pistol on the little table taunted him._

"Valentines day... There was a reason I stayed up all night. I wanted to sleep through this day… I hate it. Tony, I hate it."

Tony looked at him concernedly. "Is that just a weird Bruce thing or…" He paused. "Is there a reason?"

_The gun felt like a magnet, his hand reached for it again, only to put it down once more. He inhaled slowly, closing his eyes. He had to stay true, but a man's willpower only stretched so far. There was no more reason for him to live. He didn't know if there was anyone out there in the world who could trust him, knowing his true being._

Bruce buried his unclean head in his hand. "There's a reason I hate this day. There's always a reason. Isn't there?"

Tony walked over to Bruce and gently put a hand on his shoulder. Bruce flinched but didn't move.

"Tony."

"Yes?"

"There was one valentines day, years ago, where I did a horrible thing… I tried to kill myself. Ever since, I've gone to any lengths to avoid it. Drinking, sleeping-drugs, anything."

Tony nodded sympathetically, but was silent. He knew his friend, he was in real pain.

_He found the pistol was in his hand again. The cold metal reminded him of all the nights he had spent alone in cramped spaces, running. It was like a rock, weighing down his hesitant hands. This time, however, Bruce didn't put the gun down again. Instead, he started raising it to his face, turning the barrel to his mouth. He knew he was throwing himself away. But that was all he could do. He had no other options, only death. He had no will to live on. His heart was drowned out by the sound of pure silence._

_Tears began to form in his eyes, clouding the vision of the dark gun right under his eyes._

"Who's her?" Tony asked. Bruce sighed heavily, steeling himself.

"Elizabeth, or Betty. I love her. I don't know where she is, why she hasn't tried to find me… Does she not care…?"

All of a sudden small tears started to flow softly down Bruce's face, cutting lines down the dirt.

"Buddy…" Tony began. Bruce hadn't ever told any of the Avengers about Betty. It had been eating away at him for so long. Tony and Betty were the only ones he had ever felt truly safe with. Truly okay. Betty loved him, Tony did too. They both accepted him. And Bruce would never forget the times Tony would tease him, even that time with the taser, because that showed Tony trusted him. More then maybe anyone, even Betty. Tony and Betty looked at him as a human. A scientist, not an experiment gone wrong.

_He had lost all hope of ever finding someone who could again make him happy. The gun was pointed into his open mouth. His finger moved to the trigger, and the water building up in his eyes escaped._

Bruce started to truly cry. With the sleep loss and the agony, he mentally shut down. He began to shake a little, heaving breaths and letting go of all he knew.

"Tony… I loved her!" He shouted madly. Bruce wasn't trying not to turn into hulk. He didn't care right then. Betty was the reason he tried to kill himself, but it never worked.

_He took one more breath, his hand vibrating the gun._

Tony did something he hardly ever did, he wrapped his arms around his science partner forcefully. Bruce could feel Tony's heartbeat against his back.

"Hey, let it out."

_Bruce pulled the trigger._

_The booming thunderous noise emanated around the whole cabin. It marked the feeling of hard object hitting in the back of his throat. It hurt like hell. The skin disintegrated around his throat, a burning sensation overwhelming him. He screamed but it just hurt more, blood started to flow down from his wound choking him. A sense of panic overwhelmed him. He thrashed around, choking and crying from the torture he felt. But something added to the hurt, a painful feeling that he knew too well. It felt like his body was being stretched, limbs ripping and expanding. Skin stretching painfully thin, fingers thickening. He cryed out for betty, spluttering out blood. He let out a deathly roar. His whole body felt as though it had been dumped in lava, burning slowly and agonizingly._

_His brain started to compress, making room for something else. But __Betty, that was what he thought of in that moment. He wanted desperately to kiss her one more time, tell her he was sorry, but his suffering was overpowering his mind._

_Pain._

_He lost all consciousness, except the feeling of something small and hard exciting his mouth._

Bruce was whimpering in Tony's embrace, for once caring about how others would see him, or who would be hurt by him. And for the first time in his life he was home.

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**...hot diggity damn that was deep whoa.**

**I'm sorry if I just ruined the moment. Please review because I really tried hard to make something that would make people tear up slightly. It did to me. I need feedback.**

**Anyway, I would say happy valentines day again but maybe happy isn't the word for it. Thank you so much for reading.**


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